Spontaneous Combustion

"Success isn't the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire."

-Arnold H. Glasow

Hello fellow daredevils!

I know it's been a while since I've written. My apologies but I was off writing the next great American novel. You see, I figured that I needed to be doing that before I could commit to writing anything at all which, as it turns out, is not the way writing works.

Over the past 32 days, I have been participating in a wonderful writing workshop (VerbTribe) hosted by my friend, author Patti Digh. If you haven't heard of her, please check out her website (http://www.37days.com/home).

The purpose of the VerbTribe workshop is to help participants learn how to build a consistent writing practice. Over the past month and a half we've received writing prompts each day and have shared our writing in the workshop forum.

What I've learned:

• Writing is like life. You need to show up every day. It doesn't matter if it's for 10 minutes or 10 hours. It's about showing up. The fire can't start without a spark and showing up every day is that spark.
• Embrace the crap. I used to think if I wasn't writing something great, why bother at all. Over the past 30+ days, I have written a bunch of crap. Crap that would make your toilet back up! But, within that crap, there have been a few gems; ideas I knew that I could work with. Love your crap!
• Detach from outcome. Again, as in life, if you're too concerned with what other people will think, you are setting yourself up for a whole lot of disappointment.
• Surround yourself with like-minded folks who support you. Shout out to my fellow VerbTribers! This has been an awesome experience. We not only share in our forum but also have a private Facebook page which is a great way to stay connected to positive energy. Hang around with people who support you!

What's interesting is that the above lessons are things that I've successfully applied to other areas of my life as well. For example, since November, I've dropped 31 pounds but doing exactly what I outline above.

• I show up every day for exercise (even if it is only for 10 minutes a day).
• I let go of the "all-or-nothing" mentality meaning that if I messed up, all is not lost. I simply start again immediately (not the next day!).
• I have detached from outcome and do not obsess with the scale.
• I surround myself with supportive people. My girlfriend and I are doing this together and she's dropped 34 lbs! Stay away from the saboteurs.

So what can you start to show up for every day? Is there something that you've been putting on the back burner and haven't been investing in every day? Writing? Music? Health? Your relationship? Whatever that is for you, I dare you to do it and do it now, during this time when most folks have given up entirely on their New Year's resolutions.

Someone asked me how I managed to drop so much weight through the holidays and I answered, "It doesn't matter what time it is. Once you make up your mind, it's just about doing it."

For today, I dare you to set yourself on fire and begin with just 10 minutes a day. Promise yourself that and before long, you'll be feeling the burn!

.

Road Trippin'

My girlfriend, Larissa and I drove to west Texas for a road trip this past weekend. I’m easily restless and sometimes just need to drive. Long Texas roads are a great place for that.

Pulling out of our driveway, I comment about how dry our grass looks. “This drought is killing our lawn,” I tell her. She agrees.

We drive far through tiny towns that I didn’t even know existed. We see acres and acres of farmland brown…shriveled….thirsty. Occasionally we see some bushels of cotton wrapped tightly in bright pink wrap sitting in the middle of a field. I remember a news story I saw a few weeks ago about how the drought had threatened the livelihood of so many farmers. My lawn suddenly seems small, very small. I am humbled and a bit ashamed.

“Did you know that a flight of vultures circling is called a ‘kettle’?” Larissa asks.

“No,” I answer.

“Also I read that the stomach acid of vultures is designed to kill disease and bacteria that could kill other birds or carnivores.” Isn’t that cool?”

I think about nature and try to remember that she knows what she is doing. She is neither good nor bad. She just is. There’s no sense in complaining or questioning. I decide my time would be better spent in gratitude for what I have.

Sometimes a good road trip is all you need to gain a little perspective.

Hello Mister Hoffer

"That which is unique and worthwhile in us makes itself felt only in flashes. If we do not know how to savor these flashes, we are without growth and without exhilaration." -Eric Hoffer

I just LOVE LOVE LOVE days when I stumble upon a piece of the puzzle that is my life that snaps perfectly into place! Today while attempting to stay out of the hot humid South Texas weather (the tropical storm that was SUPPOSED to bring us rain today was a complete BUST!), Larissa (my girlfriend) and I hung out in a couple of secondhand book stores and I was introduced to one, Mr. Eric Hoffer, in the philosophy section at the back of the store....well, his books anyway.

The title of his book, "The Passionate State of Mind" caught my attention and as I thumbed through it, I felt that feeling you get when something just falls into place. I really connected to it and instantly knew I was supposed to read this. In addition to buying "The Passionate State of Mind", I also bought the book, "Eric Hoffer - An American Odyssey", by Calvin Tomkins, which is a short bio on Hoffer. I read that in a couple of hours sitting in a coffeehouse. Excellent read!

The quote above is one of my favorites because, as per my last blog entry, I have really been trying to pay attention to those things that make me feel "alive". I think many times we expect our life's calling to come to us in one big EUREKA moment, when in reality it's more about paying attention to those things that make you sit up and take notice when you encounter them.

Mr. Hoffer has taught me a TON in the short time I've known him and I'm looking forward to finishing "The Passionate State of Mind" and moving on to "True Believer", his most famous book. I'll be sure to share more quotes and learnings!

In the meantime, PAY ATTENTION TO THOSE FLASHES!! They're trying to tell you something! :o)

Warmer/ Colder

"Pay attention to the things that make you feel alive because therein lies your calling"-- unknown

Lately I've been feeling a bit restless. Some might chalk it up to the fact that I'm into my forties now and that perhaps I'm going through a bit of a... "crisis". I remember hearing about these when i was younger but thought mid-life crises were supposed to be for balding men in unhappy marriages who fixed the problem by having affairs and buying sports cars.

This definitely isn't me. I enjoy my job and have a very supportive life partner. I wouldn't define my feelings of restlessness as a "crisis" but definitely some sort of indication that something in my life is just a bit "off-center".

From this perspective, I can see why someone experiencing this sense of restlessness might be tempted to placate the situation with an "easy" fix like a sports car or an affair. Those are low hanging fruit.....easy distractions. Unfortunately, like eating candy to try to overcome hunger, those things might fix the problem temporarily but the hunger will come back quickly.

As you get older and you realize that life does go by very fast (just like my "getting-wiser-everyday" parents told me), you start to wonder if this is it. Death becomes more of a reality. Parents die. Friends close to your age die. It's no longer something that's an eternity away. Realistically, my life is close to or halfway done.

I think the restlessness comes from wondering if I am on the right path of my calling....fulfilling what I was put on earth to do. How does one know that? I think the answer to that question comes more often than we think. The problem is, many times we're too distracted with trivial things to pay attention.

When I think about the things I enjoy doing, those things that make me feel "alive" I am reminded of the "warmer/colder game" I played as a child. In case you're not familiar with the game, it's played by one person either hiding or identifying an object in a room and another person trying to find it using the verbal hints of "warmer" (indicating they are getting closer to the object) or "colder" (indicating they are moving further away).

What if finding your life's purpose was the ultimate game of "warmer/ colder"? What if feelings of frustration, anger, indifference were the universe's way of telling you that you are getting colder or moving away from your path while feelings of connectedness, fulfillment, and being "in the zone" was the universe's way of telling you that you're getting warmer and on the right track.

I think we get feelings like these everyday as we engage in different activities and with different people. When I do things or hang around with people who don't direct me to that "warmer" place, I know it. If I watch mindless TV for several hours to avoid working on an idea, I feel like I had candy for dinner; empty and jittery.

On the other hand, when I engage in my writing, my music, or my teaching ideas, I lose track of time. I am like a skater gliding through the ice. I'm in the zone.

For today, I dare you to engage the universe in the "warmer/colder" game. She plays it with you every day giving you clues to your calling. The great thing is, when you find what she planted for you, she doesn't let you down. As author Paulo Coelho writes in one of my favorite books, The Alchemist, "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it." The universe tends to help those who help themselves.

Play the game. It will be well worth it.

Thanks for reading and daring to dare!

Dream the Painting

"First I dream my painting then I paint my dream.” –Van Gogh

Hi and welcome back to, “A Dare a Day”! A few weeks ago, as part of a training exercise at work, I worked with a group of peers to assemble a puzzle. The task was to assemble a puzzle as a team with several obstacles, one being that were weren’t given a picture of what the completed puzzle would look like. We began by assembling the border pieces and gathering like pieces but without knowing what the picture was, we were moving at a snail’s pace. After a few minutes, the facilitator of the exercise gave us a picture of what we were assembling and all of a sudden, our mission was clear and we finished the puzzle within a few minutes.

As I reflected on the exercise, it occurred to me that it is analogous to how we can go through life if we don’t have a clear picture of what it is we want for ourselves. You might say, “I want to be healthy”, but what exactly does that mean? What would it feel like to be healthy? What would a typical day of your healthy life look like? Do you spring out of bed in the morning full of energy? Do you run marathons or play a favorite sport with ease? Neglecting to describe in vivid detail what this means to you is like trying to put the puzzle of your life together without a clear picture of what you are trying to accomplish. Your days can seem like random “pieces” without a clear focused goal. No wonder many people feel like they are simply drifting through life!

For today, I dare you to choose one area of your life in which you would like to experience something different than you are experiencing now and write out in detail what the new and improved experience looks like to you. For example, if your job situation isn’t ideal, write out what your ideal job does look like. Write in detail from waking up in the morning on your way to you job through when your head hits the pillow at night.

Keep your picture close to you for one week and read it at least twice a day. Allow yourself to feel the feelings as if it’s already manifested itself in your life. Close your eyes and pretend it’s happened. Doing so will set your inner compass towards that goal even if you’re not exactly sure on how it’s going to happen. Don’t worry about the “how”. That tends to show itself once you are clear on the “where”, that is, where you want to be.

Thanks for reading today and daring to dare!

What's Your Sentence?

The late congresswoman and playwright Clare Booth Luce once advised President John F. Kennedy that every great man is one sentence. For example, Abraham Lincoln "preserved the union and freed the slaves." Franklin D. Roosevelt "lifted us out of a great depression and helped us win a world war."

What would your sentence be?

What's Your Sentence?: The Video from Daniel Pink on Vimeo.

A “Toast” to the New Year

Hi and welcome back to, “A Dare a Day”!

This morning, as I was making toast for breakfast, I was confronted with two loaves of bread on the counter. Larissa (my partner) and I had just gone to the store yesterday and I wondered why she had bought two loaves since we aren’t big bread eaters. I then remembered that a couple of days ago, I commented on how our loaf had passed its “best by” date. Larissa stated, “It’s still good for toast.” One bag was fresh and the other was from last week.

I started to take a piece of bread out of the older bag but stopped as I realized that we were in this vicious circle of old versus new bread which never really never allowed us to get a fresh piece because we were constantly taking from the old one. This week’s new loaf would be next week’s old loaf. I just KNEW there was a message for me in there somewhere!

I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions because I don’t think you need to wait until New Year’s to change things you truly want to change. While working out with my trainer yesterday, we started discussing the crowd we’ll have to deal with in the gym next week due to the New Year. “Give it a month or so,” he said, “The ‘New Year’s crowd tends to dwindle after a few weeks and the gym will be back to normal soon.”

As I contemplated the changes I’ve made in my own life over the past year, it occurred to me that the reason they “stuck” this time is because I changed the way I looked at the things I wanted to change. In other words, I threw out the old stale perspectives that no longer worked for me. Dieting never worked for me so I threw that out. That doesn’t mean I’m no longer mindful of the things I’m putting into my body. It just means I’ve changed the way I look at it. For example, a friend of mine approached me in the café at work the other day and commented, “You’re looking great! So what are you allowed to eat?” I replied, “I’m allowed to eat anything I want.” He looked at me a bit puzzled. I added, “It’s about what I choose to eat.”

Changing my mindset from one of “restriction” to one of “choice” has been a monumental perspective-changer for me. Instead of putting myself on a “diet” or on a regimented exercise program, I started to study nutrition and exercise and how they affect my body. I realized that I needed to make exercise fun again, like when I was a kid and would ride my bike for hours without thinking of it as “working out”. I found a trainer who challenges me with crazy new exercises several times a week. This keeps my workouts fresh and when we’re done, I feel such a great sense of accomplishment. I also started going to parks and looking for ways to spend time outside when I workout on my own.

When I changed the way I looked at my health, my health changed! I threw out the stale mindset and accompanying beliefs that had produced nothing for me except a sense of failure and replaced those with a new perspective. In my mind, I cannot fail because there isn’t such a thing as “failure”, only choices.

For today, I dare you to think about something you’ve wanted to change but haven’t manifested yet and challenge yourself to think of it in a different way. Turn it sideways and upside down. Approach it from a different angle. Blog about it. Talk about it differently to your friends. Act as if it’s already here.

Needless to say, I put aside the old bread bag and made myself a fresh piece of toast for breakfast and it was yummy! I’ll let the ducks at the duck pond down the street feast on the stale pieces. 2011 is all about fresh bread for me!

Thank you for reading and I wish you a very special new year!