Warmer/ Colder

"Pay attention to the things that make you feel alive because therein lies your calling"-- unknown

Lately I've been feeling a bit restless. Some might chalk it up to the fact that I'm into my forties now and that perhaps I'm going through a bit of a... "crisis". I remember hearing about these when i was younger but thought mid-life crises were supposed to be for balding men in unhappy marriages who fixed the problem by having affairs and buying sports cars.

This definitely isn't me. I enjoy my job and have a very supportive life partner. I wouldn't define my feelings of restlessness as a "crisis" but definitely some sort of indication that something in my life is just a bit "off-center".

From this perspective, I can see why someone experiencing this sense of restlessness might be tempted to placate the situation with an "easy" fix like a sports car or an affair. Those are low hanging fruit.....easy distractions. Unfortunately, like eating candy to try to overcome hunger, those things might fix the problem temporarily but the hunger will come back quickly.

As you get older and you realize that life does go by very fast (just like my "getting-wiser-everyday" parents told me), you start to wonder if this is it. Death becomes more of a reality. Parents die. Friends close to your age die. It's no longer something that's an eternity away. Realistically, my life is close to or halfway done.

I think the restlessness comes from wondering if I am on the right path of my calling....fulfilling what I was put on earth to do. How does one know that? I think the answer to that question comes more often than we think. The problem is, many times we're too distracted with trivial things to pay attention.

When I think about the things I enjoy doing, those things that make me feel "alive" I am reminded of the "warmer/colder game" I played as a child. In case you're not familiar with the game, it's played by one person either hiding or identifying an object in a room and another person trying to find it using the verbal hints of "warmer" (indicating they are getting closer to the object) or "colder" (indicating they are moving further away).

What if finding your life's purpose was the ultimate game of "warmer/ colder"? What if feelings of frustration, anger, indifference were the universe's way of telling you that you are getting colder or moving away from your path while feelings of connectedness, fulfillment, and being "in the zone" was the universe's way of telling you that you're getting warmer and on the right track.

I think we get feelings like these everyday as we engage in different activities and with different people. When I do things or hang around with people who don't direct me to that "warmer" place, I know it. If I watch mindless TV for several hours to avoid working on an idea, I feel like I had candy for dinner; empty and jittery.

On the other hand, when I engage in my writing, my music, or my teaching ideas, I lose track of time. I am like a skater gliding through the ice. I'm in the zone.

For today, I dare you to engage the universe in the "warmer/colder" game. She plays it with you every day giving you clues to your calling. The great thing is, when you find what she planted for you, she doesn't let you down. As author Paulo Coelho writes in one of my favorite books, The Alchemist, "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it." The universe tends to help those who help themselves.

Play the game. It will be well worth it.

Thanks for reading and daring to dare!